Death and Taxes

You know the old expression...”Two things you can count on, death and taxes”. Well, life in Germany is certainly reaffirming that (not the death part, but rather the taxes). The Germans have a tax for everything – no wonder they are disillusioned with their government. It can’t be all that different, can it? Yes, my friend, it can.

During recent weeks as I read my “get acquainted to living in Germany” books, I kept seeing references to a tax for this and a tax for that, but I just glossed over it. Being ever the compliant citizen, regardless of country, I’ll end of paying whatever is “due Caesar”. Yet, the practical part of me would ponder, “How is this ever enforced?” I now have a few answers to this question, so read on.

First, let me provide you with a brief summary of the taxes I have seen in my limited time in Germany:

• Income tax – We have yet to file a German income tax return but sources tell me that income taxes take up to 50% of each German’s gross income.
• Consumption tax – All goods and services (including phone service, utilities, dry cleaners, restaurants, grocery stores, etc.) have a 16% consumption tax added on to the final bill. That is the equivalent to the sales tax we see in the US, but man, that’s high!
• Church tax – Day 2 in Germany - Arrival at German immigration. Buddy and I were both asked our religious affiliation. We looked quizzically at each other, wondering, WHY? The reason for this is that many residents of Germany pay a tax depending on the religious faith to which they belong. If Catholic or Protestant, a 5% tax applies; if Jewish, a 3% tax applies. Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, any other faiths, as well as non-believers pay no tax. Interestingly enough, “Protestant” is defined as Lutheran or Episcopal. Faiths such as Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, Church of Christ, etc. are all considered “sects”, and are known as “Free Church”, and not Protestant. So honestly, we are able to avoid this tax.
• Dog tax – Yes, owners of dogs are taxed. As a non-dog owner, I am not totally familiar with the rules, but I believe you pay a flat 5% regardless of the numbers of dogs you own. But, 5% of what? This tax is supposedly used to pay for city “pooper-scooper” personnel. Trust me, they need this tax because no one picks up after their dogs…amazing! No such tax for cats – whew!
• Customs tax – Anything not made in Germany and imported into the country will most likely be taxed. A recent spending spree on Amazon (US) resulted in a trip to the German Customs House (not to be confused with the German Post Office, as I quickly learned).
  There seems no logic to the customs rule, but I can say that DVDs, CDs, gifts from family and friends, etc. will all be taxed 16% consumption tax plus a 3% customs tax, if the total amount is over 25 euros (or 20 USD). Gang, that is not very much. Books apparently follow a similar taxation approach but the total allowable amount is 80 euros. Don’t ask me why.
• Radio and TV License fees – OK, technically not a tax, but once again the government is making me pay for something. This varies but a monthly fee is paid in the following manner: (1) Radio only - 5.32 euros, (2) TV only – 16.15 euros, (3) Radio and TV – 16.15 euros. Here is where I wondered, “How will ‘they’ ever know”? Ah, I found out.
  Apparently, “Broadcasting License Fee Agents” conduct “surprise visits” to homes; guess who received such a visit today? Well, after showing the agent I had no TVs (all my US TVs are in the basement because they won’t work in Germany), I could honestly say I had none. However, as soon as the German TVs are purchased, and that time is a-comin', I’ll be coughing up some euros to my local agent.
  

Moral #1 of the story: Be thankful you only have the taxes you have. It could be worse.

Moral #2 of the story: Please be careful what you send me…I could be paying an additional 20% on top of the value of the item.